


Starry Skies (Against Your Smile)

by Multifandom_Stan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Heartbreak, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-11-12 04:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18004001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_Stan/pseuds/Multifandom_Stan
Summary: Wherein Jaemin attends his best friends wedding and sees his ex-lover with someone new...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know where all this came from, just felt like writing, I don't mean to hurt them so much...

Jaemin winced when he saw the last person he wanted to see; smiling while in the company of his new beau, like nothing was wrong in the world, he figured that there probably was nothing wrong in Jisung’s world now, now that Jaemin was out of it. He wandered around, greeting acquaintances, meeting new people, trying his best to not look at his previous lover, whom he may or may not still be in love with; it didn’t help that Jisung has always drawn his attention like a moth to fire.

 

It all came to head when the beginning of the reception was announced and they had to find their designated sit; Jaemin wondered if his best friends truly hated him so much that they would sit him in the same table as his ex and the new boyfriend, their other friends were there too but that was negligible. He awkwardly took his sit that just so happened to be across his replacements and tried not to show his nervousness too much. He could feel someone staring at him and where he to guess, he would say it was Jisung, so he did his best to start a conversation with Yuta- who just so happened to be beside him, if only to have someone else to focus on. He was doing a very good job at ignoring the couple in front of him, if he may say so himself, but he underestimated how Winwin would react to him manipulating Yuta’s attention…

 

“Hey Jae, you haven’t met Lele, right?” Jaemin could’ve burned holes into Winwin’s face with his glare alone as the chinese man smirked at him.

 

“I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.” He replied, as calmly as he could, despite having a hard time to breathe due to his raging heartbeat.

 

“This is Zhong Chenle, he is Renjun’s cousin. Lele, this is Na Jaemin.” Jaemin forced a polite smile on his face and reached over for a handshake.

 

“My pleasure, I didn’t know Injun had cousins; but then again, he really is the mysterious type.” He said pleasantly, hoping no one would notice the tightness in his voice.

 

“That’s a shame, but it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard all about you after all.” Jaemin wondered if the other man was just that good of an actor or if he actually meant what he said.

 

“So how were your travels Jaemin? Where were you off to this time?” Jaehyun- who had always been one of Jaemin’s favorite among his friends, finally took pity on him and changed the topic into something Jaemin felt more comfortable with.

 

Jaemin made a beeline towards his best friends, congratulated them, hugged them and then glared at them when he was sure no one was paying attention. Renjun and Jeno are his best friends, or at least he thought so until they pulled that situation on him.

 

“Really guys? You couldn’t have warned about the sitting arrangements? Better yet, you couldn’t have put me somewhere else? Preferably another table or something?” He wasn’t surprised when Renjun returned his glare as fiercely.

 

“You deserve it for being an asshole; you’re my best friend, but don’t forget that Jisung is one of my closest friends too. You don’t get to call us out for being assholes when you’re a grade A asshole yourself.” Renjun harrumphed and turned away, leaving Jaemin gobsmacked; Jeno patted him consolingly and gave him a genuine smile, the first he has received from his friends since his arrival.

 

“Don’t mind him, he- no all of us got a tad too overprotective of Jisung after, you know. Man you should’ve seen what Chenle had to face just to get a chance at asking Jisung out for a date.” Jeno chuckled, he was probably trying to comfort Jaemin, but he had always been a bit on the oblivious side of the spectrum.

 

“I don’t mind Jen, go enjoy your reception, I’ll just catch some air.” He gestured towards the balcony, Jeno nodded and went to find his husband while Jaemin retreated to said balcony.

 

Jaemin stared at the dark night sky, vacant of all the adornments that Jaemin had gotten used to seeing while he was outside the country. That was one of the main differences Jaemin found between a city sky, and that of those in underdeveloped countries… Stars were very rare in city skies. Many times he wonders if it had been worth it; those skies adorned by stars, the serenity that just cannot be found in the city, the smiles of the people he was helping, he wonders if they are worth the price he had to pay. The city he could give up, the comfort of home is negligible, but had it been worth Jisung's smile… That is a question that he never could answer.

 

“Oh… I had hoped you wouldn’t be here.” Jaemin hears a painfully familiar voice say, he turns and spots Jisung by the door, looking as good as Jaemin remembers, perhaps a bit more mature but still as handsome as ever.

 

“I’ll leave...” he makes his way towards the door in a steady pace, not wanting to look like he was running from the younger man.

 

“You don’t need to, you never needed to.” Jaemin freezes on the spot, wanting to run away yet at the same time wanting to rush to Jisung’s side and hug him. To tell Jisung how sorry he is, to tell him how much he missed him, how much he regrets leaving.

 

“I’m sorry.” Jaemin says, knowing that a single apology would never be enough for the pain that he had put Jisung through, not even a hundred apologies would be enough. Jaemin returned to his spot, thankful that the balcony was big enough that they didn’t need to be near each other. The silence was uncomfortable and Jaemin had a hundred things he wanted to tell the younger but didn’t know how.

 

“So, how has life been treating you?” Jisung asked; Jaemin noticed that he was fidgeting with his fingers like he always did when he was nervous, a trait that Jaemin had always found adorable, but then, he used to find everything Jisung did adorable.

 

“Fine, I heard you finally found someone new.” He tried not to sound like he was accusing the younger man of anything, knowing that he gave up any right he had to Jisung when he hurt him.

 

“Yes, and everyone tells me he’s much better than you.” Jaemin couldn’t keep himself from flinching, he felt like he’d been stabbed or perhaps burned, he doesn’t really know, but he does know one thing, and that’s that it hurt.

 

“Is that so?” He couldn’t help the raspiness of his voice either, or the tears that welled up in his eyes. He looked at Jisung who was looking at the sky, his own eyes welling up with tears.

 

“Well, he doesn’t make me cry like you used too,” Jaemin smiles, it’s bittersweet, he thinks. He is happy that Jisung has found someone who deserved him, happy that this guy knew not to make Jisung cry, he is happy… but the tears still fall from his eyes.

 

“That’s good, because you don’t deserve a man who’d make you cry, you never did, Mochi.” He saw tears roll down those squishy cheeks and had to hold himself back from going there and wiping them away.

 

“Too bad he doesn’t make me feel like you do...”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin is set straight by his friends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this from my phone, sorry for any mistakes.

Chapter 2:

 

Jaemin went through his morning rituals in a daze, the wedding had gone about as well as he expected it too. He had known that he’d see Jisung there; Jeno and Renjun won’t get married without their adopted child. What he didn’t expect was to have the chance to talk to his ex, he didn’t expect Jisung to even want to look at him, to be honest. He wouldn’t have begrudged the younger the right to ignore his whole existence but Jisung didn’t, instead Jisung talked to him.

 

Jisung had talked to him and although he never said it outright, Jisung still felt something for him; that’s what has him in a daze. What is he supposed to do about that, is he even supposed to do anything? Jisung has already moved on, he is in a seemingly healthy relationship- he is going by the approval this Chenle guy has from their friends; so what exactly is Jaemin supposed to do about this newfound knowledge?

 

The best thing to do would probably be to just ignore it and go on with his life and allow Jisung to do the same, but just the thought of ignoring and forgetting the talk he had the younger man was making his stomach rebel. He knows what he wants to do, he knows what he feels- what he still feels for Jisung but would it be right to make a move when there is a Chenle in the picture? He is broken from his daze when his phone rings…

 

“You’re meeting Mark and I at the usual cafe, 10:00” Jaemin rolls his eyes at the demanding voice, not even surprised Donghyuck would have his number, even when he has only had it for like, three days.

 

“Good Morning to you too Hyuck, I missed you too.” He heard a scoff from the other end and then a chuckle, he assumed that Mark and Donghyuck were already together.

 

“I don’t care just meet us there, we’ve got some things to talk about.” Jaemin gives an affirmative, just thankful that he has something to take his mind of Jisung for a while.

 

Jaemin arrives early at the cafe and wonders if he should have requested they meet somewhere else; walking into the cafe is like opening a time capsule, they’ve frequented the place since their highschool days and the place is a setting to plenty of his best memories, like his first date with Jisung for example. He sighs and heads straight to their usual table, which is the booth in the inner corner of the Cafe, just across the comfort rooms.

 

“Hey Jae” Jaemin looks up to see Mark and Donghyuck, whom he had been expecting, and Renjun and Jeno, whom he definitely weren’t expecting, and didn’t particularly want to see just yet.

 

“Hey guys, Been a while Mark, Hyuck. Weren’t really expecting you guys Injun, Jen; thought you’d have gone on your honeymoon you know.” He stands up to give each of them a hug. He can already tell that he’d be getting an earful of lectures from his friends so he suggested they order first, just to get it out of the way. The conversation had begun with typical catching up, them asking how he has been, where he has been, him catching up with what’s been going on in his friend’s lives...

 

“So how long are you in the country for?” Renjun askes bluntly when they are halfway through their meal and having a lull in their conversation; it is a testament to how much Jaemin knows his best friend that he is only thankful the other waited until he has swallowed his mouthful.

 

“Eager to get rid of me much, injunnie?” Renjun just shakes his head and Jaemin starts to think that maybe he just shouldn’t have answered the call, but knowing his friends they would’ve just shown up in front of his door.

 

“No, I’m just wondering how much damage control we’re going to have to do when you decide to take off again, just like last time you know.” Hyuck drops, like he is simply talking of the nice weather they were having.

 

“I’m not going to make a mess of things guys. I’m literally just here for the wedding.” Hyuck and Renjun gives him looks that say, they’re not buying his excuse.

 

“The looks you were sending Jisung’s way last night, beg to differ. Honestly man, you can’t do this to him; the kid’s already been through too much.” Mark says, and Jaemin looks at him feeling betrayed; he expects it of Renjun and Hyuck, to a certain extent Jeno but not of Mark.

 

“Honestly guys, what do you expect me to do, profess my undying love to him then leave? He’s already in a happy relationship!” He seethes; he wants to understand where his friends are coming from, but that they’d think that he would willingly put Jisung in pain hurts him.

 

“You’ve done it once.” Jaemin ignores the stabbing pain in his heart at Renjun’s accusation, also ignoring the other man.

 

“So you still love him?” Jeno asks; his usual, friendly expression, replaced with narrow and shrewd eyes, as if daring Jaemin to lie. Jaemin hates that they’re treating him like a criminal but he can’t hate them for doing what they’re doing, knowing that they’re only doing it for Jisung.

 

“Of course I still love him! Did you really think going in the middle of nowhere to help people was going to change that?” All four of his friends exchanged looks in silent conversation and it irked Jaemin; he used to be part of that, there was a time where he could have whole conversations with these guys, only using their eyes.

 

“So what are you going to do about it?” Mark asks and Jaemin felt like pulling on his hair in pure frustration, not understanding why his friend’s were even asking those questions.

 

“What do you expect me to do about it? He’s in a relationship, he has moved on; I’m not going to ruin that for him.” They exchange looks again and Jaemin finds that it really annoys him.

 

“So you’re just going to run away, like you did last time. You’re going to make yourself out to be the martyr and run.” Donghyuck says; Jaemin wonders just how badly his friends think of him and just where those accusations are coming from.

 

“What the hell are you saying hyuck?” He asks through gritted teeth, reminding himself that these are his friends and that they’re only being protective.

 

“I think Hyuck was pretty clear; last time you broke up with him and left, saying you don’t want him to waste his life waiting for you, and now you’re going to say you don’t want to ruin his life and leave.” Jaemin glares at Jeno; it was never his intention to paint himself a martyr.

 

“Don’t think I don’t know what happened last night, Lele told me all about the balcony.” Renjun’s voice was accusatory and Jaemin was brought back to the memory of the previous night…

 

“I didn’t do anything Injun.” All he receives is a glare from the petite man.

 

“Did you not think that maybe that’s the problem? Jisung practically told you that he still loves you and still you did nothing.” Mark says and again Jaemin wonders what his friends would have him do, surely they didn’t want Jaemin to ruin Jisung’s relationship.

 

“Again guys, he’s already in a relationship, I’m not ruining that.” Jaemin can practically see the frustration in the look that Hyuck and Renjun exchange.

 

“Has being in the middle of nowhere, as you say it, rotted your brain?” Jaemin was just about to protest the insult when Renjun interrupts him,

 

“Do you even remember who we're talking about, cause just a reminder, in case you need it- we're talking about Park Jisung, he's not going to be in any relationship with anyone he doesn't love. And newsflash just in case you missed it, he is still, for some reason in love with you!” Renjun is so agitated that he is nearly off his sit.

 

“But, I thought, Chenle…” Renjun groans in frustration, face buried in his hands.

 

“Chenle would love to be Jisung's boyfriend, they've been on dates, but Jisung was never ready to enter another relationship, not when he's still in love with you.” Jeno chuckles, patting his husbands back consolingly.

 

“Now, what will you do?” Hyuck asks Jaemin whose mind is still reeling.

 

“I- I don't know…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time we see Jisung, the day after the wedding.

Jisung didn’t feel like doing anything, he doesn't feel like opening his eyes, he doesn't feel like getting up and he doesn't feel like facing the day. The wedding was as beautiful as he expected it to be, it was simple yet whimsical, perfect for the couple. The reception venue was also perfect and exactly as he expected, the guest list was the same…

 

Of course he knew that Jaemin would be there, he is the grooms’ best friend after all; he likes to think that he knows Jaemin enough to know that he would not miss Renjun and Jeno's wedding. Knowing doesn’t always help though, as all it did was fill Jisung with nerves and excitement, a strange mixture that didn’t really go well together, not in his case at least. The excitement of seeing the man he still loves, after two years of only getting little snippets from their mutual friends here and there, and the nerves of having the man who broke his heart and turned his world upside down walk back in his life.

 

Were it not for Renjun’s adamant statement that he would rescind Jaemin’s invitation if Jisung was that uncomfortable with his presence, Jisung would have not gone to the wedding. Jisung did realise that he might be blowing things out of proportion a bit, being a bit over dramatic and what not, but that’s how he felt, how he still feels. Jaemin has always been a big part of his life, even before they got together; Jaemin was one of his best friends, one of the people he trusted the most, he was such- still is actually, an integral part of what made Jisung, that for a while after he left, Jisung just felt lost…

 

Jaemin breaking up with him and leaving had made Jisung feel unimportant and worthless, it made him think that his feelings weren’t valid; it took awhile but he got through it. His friends were great help then and then Chenle came along and if he could help it, Chenle would make sure that Jisung never felt that low again. Jisung’s friends like to say that Chenle came at the perfect time, at a time when Jisung was a bit better but still very insecure about his worth. Chenle made sure that Jisung knew that he’s gorgeous, talented, sweet, kind and all those other adjectives that Jisung still has a hard time believing half the time.

 

Falling in love with Chenle should have been easy; were it anyone other than Jisung, the cheerful and quite possibly perfect man would have swept them of their feet, but it’s Jisung and Jisung is still stuck on his ex. He could have had a relationship with Chenle and he would’ve been happy but Jisung did not want that because he knew that Chenle did not deserve that, and he told the man as much. Chenle does not deserve to be a rebound, he does not deserve to be a substitute, so Jisung denied his advances and firmly told the Chinese man that friendship is all Jisung could give him.

 

Jisung expected Chenle to keep his distance or resent him but he did neither of that, instead he stayed around, content with what Jisung could and would give him. In the year and a half that Jisung has known the man, there have been many times when he thought of how much better his life would be if only he’d fall for Chenle. Chenle who was always there for him, who made him appreciate himself, but the mind can’t tell the heart what it wants.

 

So here he is two years later, still in love with the man who may have loved him but certainly didn’t value him; it’s sad and depressing. Two years and Jaemin still affected him, two years and the sight of Jaemin still melts all the walls he has erected around him. It’s not fair, Jisung thinks; it’s not fair that Jaemin can walk back in his life, looking more gorgeous than he did when he left, looking happier and healthier. It’s not fair, when Jisung’s heart still beats erratically in his chest at the mere sight of him, at the sound of his voice, it’s just not fair…

 

“Hey lazy ass, your mom let me in.” Jisung groaned and buried himself deeper inside his blankets, he doesn't want to talk to anybody , certainly not Chenle. “You can’t ignore me forever you know.”

 

“I can and I will.” It’s a childish response but he can’t bothered to think of any elaborate sentences at the moment.

 

“I see, and your job? You certainly can’t do that from inside your blankets.” Jisung feels like crying, wondering why the other always had to make sense. “Come on, get up.”

 

“Nooooo~” He heard Chenle chuckle and couldn’t help but smile; Chenle always made him smile, for some reason the man just knew how to handle Jisung’s moods.

 

“Come on you big baby, we still need to get some food in you.” Jisung finally sits up and looks at Chenle who is still looking as handsome as ever but had a certain puffiness in his eyes that told Jisung he had cried.

 

“What’s wrong Lele? And don’t try to tell me it’s nothing, you don’t cry about nothing.” He stares at Chenle earnestly; at first Chenle tries to avoid his eyes but ends up relenting anyway.

 

“It’s stupid Sungie, don’t worry, I’ll be fine, I promise.” Jisung grows suspicious as he notices that the other is still trying to avoid his eyes.

 

“It’s not stupid if it made you cry, come on Lele, you always say that I should talk about it when I cry.” He knows he is winning when Chenle sighs.

 

“Fine, but I’ll tell you about it over lunch, so go get ready, otherwise you’ll be late for work.” Jisung cheers and peels the blankets off.

 

“I’ll call in sick.” He says and Chenle snorts in amusement.

 

“Yeah.. No, go on, the faster you’re ready, the more time you have to interrogate me. I’ll be down with your mom.” Jisung just nods and speedily gets through his routine. Soon they were at the cafe in Jisung’s workplace and eating lunch, or brunch in Jisung’s case.

 

“So, are you going to tell me now?” Jisung asks after they finished their meal, Chenle sighs.

 

“It’s really stupid Jisung, I swear.” He tried to dodge the topic but Jisung was clearly not allowing it.

 

“It can’t be that stupid Lele, you’re always there for me, I just want to be there for you too.” Chenle sighed, knowing that there is no winning that.

 

“Just, please don’t cry okay? I don’t want your co-workers thinking I did something to you.” Jisung nodded, “I’ve already said this but it’s really stupid… Sungie, you know that I love you right?”

 

“Of course, I love you too.” Chenle shook his head with a rueful smile, sometimes Jisung is just a tad too oblivious or, just plain naive.

 

“Not as a friend Sungie, I love you. I love the way you smile, the way you habitually scrunch your nose, how you fidget with your fingers when you’re nervous, the way you move; Sungie, I could sit here for hours and tell you how much I love you and it still wouldn’t be enough.” Jisung felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped onto him, numb, he felt numb and before he knew it tears were already running down his cheeks. “Damn, this is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

 

“You can’t love me Lele; you deserve so much more, you deserve someone who can return your love, not someone like me. I- I can’t-” Jisung could hardly talk with how choked up he was feeling; he hadn’t wanted this, he knows personally how heartbreak feels, he never wanted to be the cause of it.

 

“I know, I know you can’t love me the way I love you but that’s okay, I’m happy being your friend. It’s not your fault Sungie, no more than it’s my fault. You can’t make yourself love me any more than I can make myself not love you. Don’t cry… like seriously Sungie, please don’t cry, Jungwoo is looking our way in concern and might just have a guard throw me out for making you cry.” Jisung chuckled and wiped his tears away.

 

“I’m so sorry Lele-” Chenle stops him and takes his hand.

 

“Don’t say sorry, like I said, it’s not your fault. From the beginning, you told me that friendship is all you could give me, that I still fell in love with you despite that is not your fault.” Jisung nods, wondering what he could say now.

 

“I-”  they said simultaneously, looked at each other and laughed, maybe it’s the remaining tension from the conversation or just the plain hilarity of it all, but they laughed like mad men until some stray tears were falling from their eyes and Jungwoo came over to ask them to tone it down.

 

“Sorry, I- I think we’ll take this outside. Jungwoo if you see Ten or Taeyong can you tell them I can’t make it? I’ll message, but just-” Jungwoo nods and Jisung is quick to pull Chenle out of the building and into the noisy streets.

 

“So where are we going?” Chenle asks Jisung who was still holding his hand.

 

“Anywhere we want to go, is there any place in Seoul you want to visit?” Jisung notices the glances that Chenle is directing at their intertwined hands but just holds on tighter.

 

“How about  the tower?” Chenle smiles, kind of understanding what was happening and just going along with it; just for today, he thinks.

 

“You mean Namsan Tower?” Jisung asks and Chenle nods in response. He hesitates for a bit, considering that the last time he had been at the tower, it had been Jaemin with him, but he nodded resolutely. If Chenle wanted to go to Namsan tower, then they’d go.

 

The cable ride up the tower had been fun, with Chenle looking around like a child, what with it being his first time. They goofed off at the game plaza and the VR room, visited the museums and exhibitions; they basically spent the day having fun and taking pictures. By the end of the day, they decided to have dinner and watch the sunset at the tower.

 

“Did you have fun today?” Jisung asks Chenle while they are waiting for their food to arrive.

 

“Of course I did, we should’ve visited this place sooner, there’s so much stuff to do!” He says enthusiastically and Jisung just smiles at how adorable he is.

 

“I wish I could have fallen in love with you Lele, it’s selfish but I’m so thankful you came into my life.” Chenle gives him a bittersweet smile, and Jisung can’t help but thinks that it fits the situation they’re in.

 

“I also wish you could’ve fallen in love with me but I’m happy enough being your friend, and dare I say it, your best friend. I’m happy Jisung, don’t doubt that; it’ll probably hurt for a while, especially when you get back together but I’ll be fine.” Jisung shakes his head.

 

“We’re not getting back together Lele, he was only here for Injun and Jeno’s wedding, he’ll be leaving again soon.” Chenle tries to respond but the waiter arrives with their food, so he leaves it for later, after they’ve had their dinner. They’re walking off the meal they’ve had when they come across the love padlocks and Jisung runs off saying he had forgotten something, he returns with two locks and a sharpie.

 

“What do you want to write?” Chenle asks as Jisung hands him one of the locks and the little heart to write on.

 

“Wishes or something, go on then we’ll attach them together.” Jisung urges him and Chenle can only laugh and shake his head.

 

“What’s the use of hiding it from each other if we’re going to red it anyway?” Jisung scowls at him and glares.

 

“Just do it.” Chenle finally nods as he laughs at the younger man. He looks back notices how serious Jisung looked as he wrote on his, so Chenle decided that he too would take it seriously. After a few minutes, he felt someone tap his back and saw Jisung. “You done?”

 

“Almost, just a bit more.” Jisung nods and tells him, he’ll find a perfect spot for their lock. Chenle goes back to what he’s writing and looks for Jisung when he’s done. “So, want to exchange and read?” Jisung nods and they do just that.

 

_‘I’m not going to say sorry anymore; I just wish that you meet someone who can love you, like I know you deserve to be loved. Thank you for being my best friend Lele, I love you.’_

 

_‘Don’t just let him go this time, talk to him, maybe this time he’ll see sense. I know you, you’ll regret it if you don’t try; and if it all fails, I’ll be there to catch you, so don’t be scared. I love you Sungie.’_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was halfway through when I realised how heartbroken I wrote Jisung's character as; I wanted to change it a bit but I just couldn't write the other versions properly so I came back to this...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin and Jisung finally talks

When they arrive at Jisung’s house, someone is already waiting at the gate; Jisung wondered if he could get away with asking Chenle to keep driving, but he knew he was going to have to speak to Jaemin sooner or later anyway. Chenle held his hand comfortingly and Jisung was suddenly aware that the situation was probably as hard for Chenle as it was for him. So he tried his best to smile for his best friend, to show him that he’s going to be okay.

“Thanks for dropping me off Lele, I’ll be fine. Be safe on your drive home k?” Chenle shakes his head, seeing through his act right away.

“I’ll stay here, as support, don’t worry.” This time it’s Jisung that shakes his head, to show his disapproval. He doesn’t want Chenle to stay, he doesn’t know how the talk will go but he won’t hurt Chenle by asking him to watch, while Jisung talks to his ex; not now that he knows Chenle is in love with him.

“No Lele, go home, I’ll be fine. I promise I’ll be fine.” He doesn’t allow Chenle to argue as he steps out of the car afterwards; he waits for Chenle to drive off, before looking at the man who had been watching them silently.

“Hey Mo… Jisung.” Jaemin waves awkwardly, not knowing how he should talk to the younger man.

“Hey, wanna talk inside?” Jaemin nods and Jisung leads the way; he immediately finds a note informing him that his parents were out and thanks god that he wouldn’t have to explain when and why Jaemin was back.

“So… I thought Chenle was your boyfriend...” Jisung sighs at the overall awkwardness, in the way Jaemin spoke, the situation, the atmosphere; none of it was his style.

“Just speak comfortably Nana, don’t make this harder than it already is; Lele is a great friend, my best friend, but he’s not the reason you’re here.” Jaemin nodded and plopped onto the beanie, taking his time to look around the room and how it has changed. It is noticeably more crowded than before, Jisung’s wall of pictures featured more people, some of them Jaemin didn’t recognise, Chenle was also featured in plenty of the pictures but it warmed his heart to see that Jisung hadn’t taken down his pictures from the wall. The gifts he had given Jisung were also still in the room, most noticeably the stuffed toy he had given Jisung on their anniversary.

“You still have Ryan,” he commented absentmindedly, remembering how Jisung had reacted to being presented the stuffed toy that Jaemin loved.

“Of course I still have Ryan, if you haven’t noticed, I still have everything you gave me.” Jisung said, thinking back to how many times Injoon and Hyuck tried to convince him that getting rid of them might help him move on.

“Why didn’t you get rid of them after I left?” Jisung snorted, wondering if Jaemin really didn’t understand or if the other man just wanted him to say it out loud.

“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” Jaemin shakes his head, feeling like he doesn't deserve to hear it aloud from Jisung, not yet at least.

“I love you, I never stopped.” It was all Jaemin could say.

“Why did you leave then? Better yet, why wouldn’t you talk to me about it? I wouldn’t have stopped you from doing what you wanted; did I really make it look like I wouldn’t support you? Was I so clingy that you thought I wouldn’t let you go?” Jisung asked every question without taking a breath in between, tears building up in his eyes as his insecurities came to light.

“It’s not you Mochi, it’s- it’s complicated.” Jisung scowled.

“Don’t give me that, I need an explanation Jaemin. Two years I’ve been asking myself what I did wrong, you can’t just tell me that it’s not me and expect me to accept that. You broke up with me and left without telling me anything. You planned everything and told me nothing, who does that?” Jisung paced as he spoke, and his frustration clear in every gesture he made.

“I told you, I didn’t want you to wait for me while I did what I wanted. I knew that it was selfish of me to pack up and leave to pursue my dreams; but I’m not so selfish that I’d ask you to wait for me, I didn’t know how long I’d be gone for Mochi, I wanted you to continue with your life, like you deserve.” Jisung dropped onto his bed with a sigh, his hands balled with frustration.

“That was my decision to make Jaemin, you should have talked to me; whether I’d wait for you or not, that should have been up to me. We’ve known each other for so long Nana; I was your best friend, before I was your boyfriend, you should have talked to me. You can’t just make a decision based on what you think is right and expect me to just accept it.” Jaemin slumped on the beanie and hung his head low, not knowing what he could say to alleviate Jisung’s frustration.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing; I know saying sorry is not enough, I know that but that’s all I can say. I’m so sorry Mochi...” That was all he could say, he wanted to go and hug Jisung, kiss him, tell him how much he loves him but it didn’t feel right.

“What now? Why did you come here?” Jisung sighs, all the frustration and any remaining energy, draining out of him. He still loves Jaemin, he might always love Jaemin but he can’t just welcome him back into his life like that, can he?

“I, I don’t know Mochi… I love you, I love you more than anything but I know I have no right to come back into your life and expect you to just accept. I love you and that probably will never change, but what happens next is all up to you. I’ve already made a mess of everything by making a decision for the two of us once, this time I’m leaving it up to you.” Jisung’s eyes softened as Jaemin spoke, finding it amazing that Jaemin still seems to know exactly what Jisung needs to hear.

“Thank you Nana, but I don’t think that will work. You can’t just leave it up to me, that’s not how a relationship works. Before anything though… when are you going back?” Jaemin stares at Jisung in that particular way that always melts Jisung to the core, but the youngest forces himself to stay strong and clears his throat before repeating his question.

“I don’t think I’m going back...” Jisung stared right back; Jaemin wasn’t going back, he wasn’t going to leave again…

“What do you want from me Nana? What should I do?” Jaemin smiled at the younger boy gently, remembering how Jisung always used to ask him what to do.

“I don’t know Mochi, what you should do is up to you. All I can tell you is that I’m not leaving this time round, I’m here to stay. I know it’s hard for you but don’t rush yourself into making a decision, especially not for my sake. I’ll wait Mochi, no matter how long ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who has been waiting; I'm really sorry for taking so long but I lost my Grandfather and for a while I just didn't feel like writing. Sorry, it's really short too...


	5. Chapter 5

Jisung stood on the balcony and stared at the night sky with a nostalgic smile on his face; it seems so long ago when he and Jaemin stood on the very same balcony and talked for the first time after Jaemin left. It’s only been more or less a year and a half but with how busy his life has gotten, it felt more like decades had passed. 

 

Renjun and Jeno had decided to go on a honeymoon after all, which left Jisung to take over Jeno’s classes. The couple had gone to europe and went country hopping, which admittedly made the lot of them jealous. So as if acting on that jealousy, Ten and Taeyong had booked a vacation as soon as Jeno was back in the country; which meant that Jisung’s workload, instead of going back to normal had increased because Ten handled more classes than Jeno did. 

 

It seems that Love season had hit the whole group too. It started with the Markhyuck proposal, Haechan had gotten tired of waiting for Mark to propose and enlisted Jisung’s help to plan the proposal; it would have been great if Jisung wasn’t also helping Mark to plan his own proposal and if the couple hadn’t both sworn him to secrecy. Haechan had popped the question in a gazebo in the middle of a lake and Mark had stammered and kneeled to propose as well. Jisung- who had once again been enlisted to get the whole thing on camera- had to bear the embarrassment of having so many people gather around and cheer while the pair argued about who would put the ring on first; Haechan won, of course…

 

Probably most celebrated of all was the Yuwin engagement, Yuta had finally worn Winwin down into saying yes. “ _ It only took him years” _ Ten had commented thoughtfully upon hearing of the engagement. Jisung was less involved in this one but the couple wanted the wedding to happen as soon as possible, so they needed all hands on deck with that couple.  _ “Yuta’s probably scared Winwin might change his mind.”  _ was Ten’s opinion as the the best friend.

 

Johnny and Taeil hadn’t gone through much fanfare, they just gathered all of them together for a small party and announced that they had gotten married on their last vacation to America. They were met with some sulking from some of their friends but overall everyone was just happy for the pair. 

 

One of Renjun’s old friends Xuxi had also decided to visit them in Korea and brought chaos into Chenle’s life which by extension meant Jisung’s life too. Jisung is convinced that those two would be going out soon, as soon as Xuxi wears down Chenle. 

 

Jungwoo and Jaehyun were thankfully still happy with just dating for a while, so Jisung hadn’t had to do anything on that side. Doyoung and Kun were also still in the love-hate phase of their relationship, so Jisung didn’t worry too much. Things were going great for his friends love lives and Jisung couldn’t be any happier for them. Most importantly though was his own love life.

 

Jaemin had made good on his promise to wait and be patient; he hadn’t pressed for a solid answer from Jisung but made sure to always show Jisung that he was and would be around. Suddenly it felt like they were back at the time when they were only best friends and Jaemin was not so subtly courting him; Jisung loved every moment of it, but most of all he just loved having Jaemin back.

 

“Hey what are you doing out here? You should be in there enjoying the party.” Jisung felt arms envelope him- it felt nice, he thought.

 

“I’m just thinking...”

 

“That’s dangerous- just joking!” he laughed when Jisung pinched his arm. “The sky is so beautiful, too bad there aren’t any stars.”

 

“Do you regret it? Do you think you’ll ever regret it?” 

 

“What? Staying here?... Well I can’t see the future but right now I haven’t and still don’t regret it, not once. I know it will take a lot more, probably years, before you can truly believe me when I say this, but leaving you was the biggest mistake I made and that’s what I regret, more than anything.” Jisung smiled, his back still to Jaemin.

 

“What are we right now Nana?” Jaemin sighs and lets Jisung go, maneuvering the younger man until they were facing each other.

 

“Whatever you want us to be, Mochi. I don’t care whatever you want to call this, call us. I’m happy, are you?”  Jisung drapes his arms on Jaemins shoulders and smile.

 

“Very Happy hyung.”

 

“Hey love birds! It’s time to cut the cake and one Groom is missing his best man!” Jaemin groans as Chenle pops in, looking victorious.

 

“You couldn’t wait five minutes? Even three?” Jaemin Scowls at Chenle.

 

“Don’t shoot the messenger! Sungie, come on, before Hyuckie loses his mind.” Jisung just shakes his head at their antics and follows the chinese man in.

 

“I swear he does it on purpose, moved on my arse...” Jaemin could be heard mumbling behind them and Jisung could only smile. 

 

He doesn’t exactly know what to call what they are, boyfriends? Friends? Best friends? Childhood friends? So many possible labels, but at the end of the line, there’s only Jisung and Jaemin, Mochi and Nana. So who cares about labels; Mochi loves his Nana and at this point he is pretty sure Nana loves him just as much. He looks ahead and see’s Haechan and Mark being disgustingly sweet while wearing their tuxes; maybe next time he labels the relationship between him and Jaemin, he wants it to be a little more permanent. 

“Hey what’s got you smiling like that?” Jaemin pokes him teasingly.

 

“I’m just wondering which sounds better, Na Jisung or Park Jaemin?” He looks at the older man inquisitively and smirks when he notices the gobsmacked look on Nana’s beautiful face.

 

“Yah Park Jisung!” Haechan hollers and waves him over, Jisung just chuckles and leaves Jaemin with his thoughts. Later that evening, Jaemin snakes an arm around his waist and leans in to whisper into his ear.

 

“That better not have been a proposal Mochi, and for the record I think Na Jisung sounds better.” Jaemin nuzzles into JIsungs neck.

 

“Oh you’re just saying that cause it’s your surname and that’s not a proposal just a hint. I’ve helped quite a few people with proposals, so I expect to be dazzled.” He challenges Jaemin and gets a smirk in return.

 

“Oh you better be prepared~” 

 

“That sounds vaguely threatening, I’ll be waiting~” They both chuckle and smile at each other sweetly.

 

“Stop whispering at each other! It’s cute!” Haechan breaks the moment by pulling them apart. “It’s my Wedding Damn it! Only Me and My Husband are allowed to be cute!” Everyone close enough to hear the declaration guffaws uncontrollably.

 

“Leave them alone Hyuckie, it’s young love.” Mark pulls him away, smiling apologetically at the couple.

 

“Young love my fine arse, those two have been dating longer than you and I.” Jisung hears Hyuck matter as his husband dragged him away.

 

“I love you” Jisung startles at the random confession. “I love you, and I don’t think I’ll ever regret choosing you. It took me a while to realize it but you’re the only star I need in my life Mochi.” Jisung could feel his face heat up and he’s sure that he is about as red as the roses decorating the venue.

 

“God, you’re cheesy!” He looks away but reaches for Jaemin’s hand. “I love you too”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well This is the last Chapter... Does it feel rushed? This is my first multi-chapter so I'm not really sure. Please feel free to comment, I'd appreciate constructive criticism.

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first try posting my fanfic, please comment...


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